If you have enough dating experience in the current world then you would know that dating is a number’s game. My journey in the dating world began with a lot of resistance. Coming from a conservative culture where dating was uncommon and sometimes frowned upon, it took me a while to understand the reasoning and mechanics with regard to dating. Eventually, I did get into the dating scene and I’m glad I did; I’ve had some wonderful experiences so far that I never thought I would have.
As I developed my confidence and improved my skills (yes, there are some essential skills that need to be acquired as we date), I realized that I was not meeting the quality of women that I really wanted to meet. I was getting more numbers, more dates and more results but I was not content. I had to let go of certain women and was ghosted by others. Others just faded away. I found myself not being able to let go of the women that I didn’t necessarily like but only wanted them to be around me either because of pain or pleasure. I did not want to be lonely.
At the same time, as I started learning and getting more involved with minimalism, I was sharpening my reasoning, intentionality, and essentialism. And that’s when I thought that I had to bring minimalism into my dating life as well. I’m sure you will resonate with my thoughts of finding yourself at a point where you start seeking more quality than quantity.
Sure, when we start dating people we are collecting data and the more we do the better. But as we collect more data and get to know what attributes we like and what qualities we want and don’t want in our partner, we narrow down the prospects.
Also, when we embrace the journey of personal development and improving our life and success, we start aiming for someone better; we want to attract someone who has the same level of thinking and mindset as ours. Because we strive to be among the top successful percent of people, and because we aim to date a high-quality person who aligns with our values and our beliefs, it is inevitable that the numbers get slashed drastically.
As I committed to changing some of my behavioral patterns and adding new better habits for success and productivity in my life, I had to change my approach to dating as well. Instead of pressuring myself to go out more, meet more women and get more dates, I let it all go, took it easy and relaxed for a while. I started focusing on myself and my alignment with what I wanted exactly.
I decided to surrender to the flow of life and experimented with that for a bit. I can see a stark difference between my approach now and the one that I had before. I have better and genuine intentions now and because there are fewer interactions and because I’m not result-oriented, I’m more relaxed and casual.
I only approach women that I’m really inspired to talk to and am curious about. I’m more direct and honest and am able to communicate better with women on a vibrational level.
Magic and miracles happen when we aim for quality and class rather than focusing on numbers and results.
Sure, dating is a number’s game but I’m much more patient and in tune with the abundance of members of opposite sex around me. And because I’m better dialed in and aware of what kind of woman I desire, I am more purposeful and intentional when I start a conversation or ask for a phone number.
There is no problem with focusing on the numbers when you are a beginner and have little or no dating success, because you’ve not met a broad spectrum of people of the opposite sex yet, but once you get to the intermediate level and have had some experience, it makes sense to make a list of all the qualities that you desire in your ideal partner, and then go from there.
A minimalistic approach to dating is not focused on finding a partner but the focus is on developing yourself so that you are able to attract a better partner. As you grow and develop yourself and hone your identity, and as you understand your core values, there will only be a few percentage of people that will resonate with you and that means not all people will have the same mindset and heartset as you.
Sure, you can continue to date people to gather more experiences but you’re more mindful of what exactly you want in a partner and are able to let go of the people that don’t align with your desires, goals and core values.
It’s much easier to let go of people while you are in the dating process as opposed to people you have already established relationships with. We need to be aware of this truth and be intentional about who we bring into our lives.
With minimalist dating, the process may be difficult as you date and you may end up spending more alone time than you were used to but because of being intentional and rational in your dating choices you can you have more time to focus and develop yourself more and only engage in relationships that you really want to be in. The goal is not to find a partner as soon as possible and settle down, but rather it is to develop and know yourself more and what you truly want.
As you become more comfortable being yourself, enjoying your own company and living your life, you will attract like-minded people who are in the same vibrational space as you are. And that’s when things fall into place and you’ll be able to attract a relationship in an easy and effortless way without all the struggling and trying.
Bringing minimalism into your life and your dating life may not be easy but it’s definitely worth it. Who knows, it may bring to you the romantic success that you have always desired, and who knows, it may be the breath of fresh air that you’re looking to bring into your life as you continue the journey of attracting a partner who is not only loving but also like-minded.
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